It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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