Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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