dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
