I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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