I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
