"it" just moved
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
