Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
