yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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