My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
