i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
