Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
