i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
