saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
