Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
