I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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