All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Pants are for mortals
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
