Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
