I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
