just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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