Don't you send me to vm
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
