Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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