Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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(904): View more from Florida

I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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(513): View more from Ohio

Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.

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(519): View more from Ontario

There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.

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(801): View more from Utah

I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.

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