theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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