Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
