Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
