How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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