I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
