3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
