I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
