We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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