It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
