I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
