Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I want to be your penis for a week.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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