She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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