So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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