So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
