Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
