I cockslap morals
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
