I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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