kristin has been a bad kristin
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
