just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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