i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize