Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
