Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
