Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
