the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
