I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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