so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
