And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
do herpes really smell.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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