just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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